Damned Elves

They can’t kill me, but I know they would love to.

Elfo Armani 1I hear them whispering outside the cell. They even yell to scare me. They sometimes tell me they’re gonna kill me soon, but I know they cantd. If I die, Christmas will diw too. And then they get nothing?

Now I regret having been soft on them.

Damn corny elves.

Recently they leaders came to visit me. They had changed their traditional green costumes by Armani tuxedos and they smoked cigarettes that smelled like shit. They laughed trying to make deep voices, but those little lungs just know how to squeal.

Look at them. I got a picture through the key hole. They think they can become humans. But they just became crazy.

The other day they threw a couple of pictures to the ground and then they closed the door.

I wanted to mourn, but I refused to give them the satisfaction.

I can’t continue. It’s dinner time. I can smell the rotten eggs from here.

Keep believing.

Spanish Version

Leer en Español

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4 Responses to Damned Elves

  1. Chatty Owl says:

    Santa, speaking fluent spanish. Thats a treat to an owl like me.

    • Santa Claus says:

      I’m Santa Claus, I speak every language, but I chose the two most spoken. I know, I know… I should speak Mandarin, but I refuse… Chineses are employed by my elves to do all the toys but with lower salaries. Well, no so low as mine… I get nothing for my work and live in a cell.

  2. Santa Claus says:

    A phone hidden inside my ars. I don’t feel so mighty.

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